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Sketchy Santas

The ultimate holiday fail blog.

I remember being scared of the Santas at the mall when I was a little kid. Here was a big, old man in a synthetic red suit, a pleather belt and a fake beard and I was supposed to sit on his lap? Like most of the kids waiting in line to have their pictures taken with Santa in the fake snow and Santa’s workshop display in the middle of the mall, I was crying and pitching a fit in my holiday dress.

Thank god I know that I wasn’t alone.  Like everything miserable from childhood, someone has documented the horror of meet-and-greet with mall Santas during the holiday season on the blog Sketchy Santas.

The blog documents some of the creepiest Santas that I have ever seen, but also some kids who are pitching fits that probably made their parents wish that they had never left home. This year, the blog has expanded to include holiday-themed debauchery and cute kids embarrassing their parents away from Santa’s lap. Also, teens pissing Santa off. Lots of teens.

Let’s take a look at some of the funniest photos and videos from Sketchy Santas:

Santa of the Evil Death Stare. We understand that sitting in a hot Santa suit and itchy beard holding a bunch of squirming nasty kids for weeks on end can do a lot to a person’s mental stability. But this Santa really snapped. I hope that mom and dad took that kid off of his lap ASAP.

Funny Nativity. Donning sheets or dad’s bathrobe and making a halo out of aluminum foil for our churches’ Christmas pageant is a memory that most of us have. It’s not entirely pleasant to be a little kid and stand on the stage and recite lines or sing a song. But it’s entirely unpleasant if you’re onstage with a little ham who also happens to have no musical ear whatsoever. Take a look at this video:

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Dingle All the Way. This post excellently combines two of my favorite photo blogs—this one and Engrish, which documents hilarious misspellings and translations of English words throughout Asia. This picture documents a misspelling of a holiday greeting. It’s for Starbucks, no less; you think they might be able to export proofreaders before they smack ads on a bus.

What are some of your favorite—or least favorite—holiday memories? Did you like getting your photo taken with Santa?